January
10: Great Vehicles of the American Theatre.
January 13: After-hours club for scientists.
January 17: Close-knit family.(sheep
joke) (Next used 8-14-05)
January 24: Sideshow slideshow.
January 30: Intestine-shaped pool. |
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February 14:
Deja Vu Master.
February 16: Olga had developed her prefontal
lobes.
February 25: "Why, Miss Johnson!
Without your glasses you're beautiful!"
February 26: "You can't be too careful.
That's why I had the twins laminated."
February 27: Buddy turns 40. February
27, 1998. No joke. |
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March
2: Bob's problems can be traced to his childhood Insecurity
Blanket. (Later re-used 12-17-03)
March 3: Bored with frosted hairdos,
Kimberly had her tips freeze-dried.
March 17: "I'm leaving the circus
and running away with a CPA firm."
March 26: Tip monger.
March 28: "For the next ten minutes it's all you can read." |
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April
2: Bob has an amazing photographic memory. (Later
re-used 9-5-06)
April 7: "Honey! My old uniform!
It still fits!" (kindergarten reunion.)
April 11: "The Dressmaker Murders---there's always a pattern."
April 15: He: "You'e paying ME for the date?" She: "This
is hush money."
April 27:"I mortgaged the house
to leverage buy out the bank.." (11-13-03)
April 28: It was midnight and Bob feared not falling into the wrong
hands. |
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May
5: God to Jowles: "I proclaim you man's best friend."
May 11: "Hey, Baby Arnold. Tell
da guys about the time you drooled..."
May 14: Jane Goodall in the wilds of
Milwaukee: "The big male senses danger..."
May 19: Miss Manners attack dog: "May
I offer you a cocktail...?" (Last used 4-1-97. Next used 2-24-04)
May 25: Jowles marches to the beat of a dead drummer. (Next used 11-1-05)
May 30: "I don't care if you DID
take a vow of silence..." |
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June 9: "The dog
ate my homework, and chased it down with a sparkling chablis."
June 15: "Never look back...and you'll never see your cellulite
gaining on you." (First used 1-9-88) |
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July
6: City Limits sign.
July 15: The REAL reason the dinosaurs
went extinct.(Macdonald's joke)
July 20: "I also have a bed on my
wall and my bathroom is sideways!"
July 25: Days of Guns and Roses! |
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August
4:"Tell me, Chuckles, have you been seriousing around
behind my back?"
August 10: Sign on forehead: "Contents under pressure"
August 19: "My wife is suing me
for Palomino." (Used again on 10-6-05) |
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September
1: "You're holding your wine too tight! Let it breathe!"
September 12: Francine suddenly believed in reincarnation.
September 16: "We're gonna name
him cranky, beer-guzzling couch potato."
September 19: "...or you're gonna
be sleeping with the humans."
September 23: Organic balloons (worms).
September 24:"...we couldn't get
any sleep at the Drunken Screaming Relatives Motel." (Re-used
on 6-16-05) |
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October 3: "I
don't wanna buy her...she just got in my way."
October 8: "Remember class, we should never make fun of others..."
October 12: When weathermen kiss and
tell.
October 14: "Well, no wonder, Bob!
You have the tape in upside down!" |
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November 3:
Yuppie Bedtime Stories, 1998. (Last used 8-13-96, used again 1-15-03)
November 4: "Nothing like the flea and tick season, eh, Bob?"
November 5: (cat)"...I think it's time for a cat-flavored cat
food!" (Used again2-24-05)
November 9: The Flounder Funeral Home.
November 11: "...it's so cute the way they eat right out of your
hand."
November 12: Lyin' Country Safari. "Come
out. We won't eat you."
November 13: ...another senseless carjacking: "Take this car
to Cuba, man!"
November 16: Channel 9 News. "...this just in."
November 23: "I always wanted to meet one of you centerfold gals."
(10-8-03)
November 24: "You're right, Doc.
Worst case of plaque I've ever seen." |
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December
2: Beach Blanket Godzilla.
December 3: "I've lost 30 pounds of ugly fat."
December 5: "Looks like your face has broken out again, Bob."
December 9: Teenage Mutant Ninja Poodles.
December 11: Repossessive mother.
December 15: Ninja Kum Poop.
December 16: "Don't be afraid. It's
report is worse than its impact!"
December 22: "I TOLD you not to
sleep by that cyclone fence!"
December 23: Rupture, a game. (Previously used 1-27-04)
December 26: Postman Toasties.
December 28: Frank was getting tired of sleeping next to a woman in
curlers.
December 29: Medusa--"My hair's
shedding and I can't do a thing with it!" |
