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Each
gag line listed below indicates a Quigmans recycled by Buddy
in 1999.
Captions in red indicate joke originally
written by Mike Stanfill
1999 results: Buddy reused 103 old Quigmans
in 1999, or about 33%.
January 1: "Look
out! It's a bundt!" (Later used on 6-13-05)
January 2: Non-Smoker's Hotel - "Liars!"
January 8: "Honey, this cake is REALLY moist!"
January 9: "Hold still, Bob! You're
smudging Garfield!"
January 19: A crime of passion.
January 22: Lost and Found ---"Hey, Sid? Did anyone turn in this
guys youth?"
January 30: In his rush to kiss Francine, Bob fails to notice her
cigarette. |
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February 5:
"We've been hiding growth hormones in his Brussels sprouts..."
February 6: "That's the man who stole my spotlight!"
February 8: "Revenge of the puppy" (Note: This joke debuted
in 1984, re-used again on 2-25-06)
February 10: Burglar: "I'm gettin' ta like dis 'shop at home'
concept."
February 16: Bob discovers the secret of eternal youth.
February 18: The Janitor Awards
February 23: Cheerleaders at the World
Chess Championship. (First used 1-19-88)
February 24: A chilling scene from the "Elephant Dog": ("I'm
not a human being..."
February 25: "Being both a schizophrenic and a roommate-hater..."
February 26: Senate washroom door: "Employees must really try
to keep hands clean!" |
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March
1: The Nuclear Gourmet ---"...serve immediately at ground
zero."
March 2: "Hey! I told you kids to knock off the locker room talk!"
March 3: Defensive Attorney.
March 6: Bob does what he can to protect the rain forest.
March 16: "I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw."
March 20: "I just LIVE for 'Pin-the-Blame-on-the-Boyfriend'!"
March 24: The "No-Guest Strip".
March 25: "You've used too much thigh cream."
March 30: Bob achieves a runner's high. (Next used 4-14-05) |
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April 8: Bob attempts
to get high on himself.
April 9: The Beaver Family: "Ward,
I need to talk to you about the human."
April 14: Bob modifies ear hairs into spiffy muttonchops.
April 16: Only 35 and Bob was already experiencing chest pains.
April 19: "You kids today don't appreciate the value of a dollar."
April 20: Bob sold hearing aids door-to-door, but no one ever heard
him knock.
April 26: "Honey, I thought we had the place sprayed for lawyers."
April 28: "See, Bob? The modern ranch isn't at all like you expected!" |
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May 1: Singles Dance.
May 4: Enid Kronkman was visited by the
I.Q. Fairy.
May 5: "It's the Old Age Rappers. Live 1st Aid 2035!"
(Irony alert: In this "joke" Buddy is making fun of pop
media figures becoming banal and laughable, ironically self-referencing
his own lack of creativity. )
May 6: Bob joined the Army and became all that he could be.
May 14: Will diet for food.
May15: Bob was his own boss, so he chased himself around his desk.
(Used again 3-28-05)
May 17: A mind is a terrible thing to baste.
May 22: Francine was a morning person.
May 24: Peterson was a cop who went by the book...the "Book of
Ballet". (Later used 7-1-05)
May 27: Nurse Floyd had the ability to turn a man's head and make
him cough.
May 31: Eventually, the Quigmans began to suspect the restaurant was
closing. |
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June 1: Sally Jesse
James Raphael.
June 5: Bob Quigman: Private Eye, Ear,
Nose and Throat. (re-used 5-4-05)
june 10: "You DID call for a stripper,
right?"
June 11: "I've decided to remove
all the fat from my life...so hit the road, Bob."
June 19: "Tractor Pull" cologne.
June 21: Salesman Bob had that flamboyant seat-of-the-pants sales
style.
June 22: The Singing Telegram!
June 23: Heidi Fleiss-watter (Bad visual pun)
June 26: "...now get in there and
give him your best writers block!" |
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July
7: "Well, look what the cat's in drag in." (First
used 5-14-87. Last used 7-28-95. Later re-used 8-7-04)
July8: "Hamster Haven"...All
you can suffocate.
July 10: Sherlock Holmes; Eye, Ear, Nose
& Throat: "Alimentary, my dear Watson."
July 12: At one time, it took seven to tango.
July 14: Frank(enstein) was apprehensive that others would discover
his head was a clip-on. (later re-used 6-17-05)
July 16: Cannibals on the road: "This is the last leg, make it
last."
July 19: "It's our son, Doctor...he's lost the will to leave."
(Next used 3-10-06, and again 9-15-07)
July 20: (Sign on Earth) "Detour...under destruction."
July 21: "It says: 'You may already BE a winner.'" (later
used 1-13-06)
July 24: He: "Where you been all my life?" --- She: "Unborn,
mostly."
July 28: Sled dog stories. |
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August 3: "Take
my waif, please."
August 4: : A scene from "The Rush Limbaugh Story".
August 5: "The name is Bum. James Bum." (Later
re-used 5-4-05)
August 7: The Amazing Boomerang Man --- He always comes back! (Last
used 4-12-95)
August 10: "He's a muscle-bound mime. Women love the strong,
silent type." (Later re-used on 6-1-06)
August 13: Ventriloquist Date --- "Your
lips never move, Stan."
August 14: "Relax, guys! It's street
legal!"
August 17:"I always get this rush of adrenaline when I'm about
to dump a guy." (re-used 7-7-04)
August 21: School Cafeteria: "Today's special: The Blob!"
Augustf 23: "The Floormaster."
August 24: A scene from the discovery of the legendary Quigman Lode
of 1994.
(Note: Buddy didn't even bother to change the
date! Sheesh!)
August 26: Being self-employed begins
to mess with Bob's head. (Later re-used 9-15-04)
August 28: Make Your Mother Mad Theme
Park! |
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September
1: Institution of Lower Learning.
September 4: Gluttony Connection.
September 9: (visual gag) Moses, wearing silly floation device, leading
Jews through Red Sea .
September 16: Masochist Club: "No, no, you're too kind!"
September 18: "Leave it to Beavis" |
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October 1: Evaporated
Milk cow.
October 6: Le Oxygen Bar.
October 9: Jowles did ten laps every morning.
October 11: "Thought you'd like
it. It's made from 17 natural herbs and spices."
October 18: "That's Bob Quigman, a distant relative of ours."
October 21: "Your literary agent was right, Bob. You DID have
a novel in you."
October 29: "Isn't he DARLING? I found him while I was out antiquing!"
(later used 7-20-04)
October 30: "Your typing is all
hooves, Ms. Holstein..." |
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November
2: Note: Buddy once owned www.quigmans.com but
let its ownership lapse. At the time he occasionally included the
URL "www.quigmans.com" in his daily comic so that Quig Fans
would surf over and, hopefully, buy his lame clip art CD. What this
is leading up to is that today's recycled comic included that self-same
URL which lead the reader to a domain that had long since disappeared.
He simply hustled the cartoon to the syndicate, evidently not giving
a moment's consideration to the confusion he may be causing.
November 8: "Jane, is it me, or
has the neighborhood changed?" (Last used 4-14-96)
November 9: "I hate to use the words, 'You're fired!' so just
get up and move to the other side of the desk." (Used
again 7-21-04)
(Note: Guess what? This is another Quigman with
the non-functioning URL.)
November 10: Francine's kisses were sweeter than wine. (Last used
5-20-96)
November 12: (Note: Another re-run, trust me. Sometimes I just forget
to write 'em down.)
November 13: "Insurance didn't cover a real donor, so we just
slapped in a pigs heart..."
November 15: "Mommy! Billy's LIL
Arsonist burned down Barbies Dream Home.
November 24: "Hey, EverReady Rabbit,
how's that intestinal tract problem?" |
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December 15: "Bob,
your check bounced so high it cleared the building."
December 18: "Jowels, I decided
we needed a second income, so I got you a second job."
December 21: "Your complexion isn't so bad, Bob. Oh, that reminds
me, I forgot to pick up some pimento loaf." |
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