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Each gag listed below indicates a previously-used
Quigman's comic recycled by Buddy in 2004.

Yellow = joke originally written by Mike Stanfill

Blue = date of original use or re-use.
Red = joke written by collaborator.

Totals for 2004:
39 stolen/reused jokes, 37 jokes supplied by collaborators.
Nearly 1/4 of all Quigman gags this year were not written by Buddy.


January 2: Bob never talked to himself. He figured, if you didn't have something nice to say... (later re-used 3-10-09)
January
3: "Let's get outta here, Eileen... this place is crawlin' with lowbrows." (later re-used 11-29-08)
January 8: "You have a nice interface, Wendell...I just need a higher-speed connection." (later re-used 11-18-09)
January 10: "Remember me? I used to be that dancin' fricken' baby on Ally McBeal." (later re-used 12-3-08)
January 12: Lawyer to bull : "I would strongly advise against saying you've gone mad." (later re-used 1-30-2010)
January 13: Due to n erroneous scale calibration at McRonald's, a customer is crushed by a quarter thousand pounder. (Later re-used 3-4-09)
January 14: Small-town celebrities - "Hey, I recognize you! You're the lady who made employee of the month over there at Tootie's drugstore" (later re-used 12-10-09)
January 15: "Why, Miss Johnson! Without your glasses ... you're beautiful! (This gag of mine has been used at least three times, possibly four, the last being 2-25-98.) (Stanfill)
January 17: "We should refrain from pleasantries. I once offed a good friend of mine by giving him five." (later re-used 11-24-08)
January 19: "Don't laugh... that's Shorty Long ... world's champion on the grossly uneven, far-from-parallel bars." (Later re-used 1-19-09)
January 21: "Some say I'm an overly protective mother, but I say hey! You can't be too careful. So I had Billy and the twins laminated." (Previously used 2-26-98. Later re-used 7-18-07) (Stanfill)
January 27: Rupture, a game. (Last used 12-23-98)
(Stanfill)
January 28: Holy cow! We're witnessing one of the rare holds in wrestling, folks: The head combination lock!" (last appeared 4-27-99)
January 29: "Coach sent me in to relieve you, Quigman. It's the bottom of the ninth and you're talkin' about your divorce." (Later re-used 12-31-08)
January 31: Nosferatu Massage - "Another lawsuit. Perhaps I should rethink my choice of vocation." (last appearance 10-13-98)

February 2: Run and get the shotgun, Louise! Our son's got the Bird Flu!" (Later re-used 12-6-08)
February 3: Guilt Man - "Hold on there, Mr. Lowlife! Does your Mother know you hold up grocery stores? And when was the last time you gave to the United Way?" (way old, later re-used 1-23-2010)
February4: "Hey! What are you doing to my yard, you moron?" "Well, I been a career garbage man for some 20-odd years. i just figured it was time to give somethin' back." (Last appeared 12-18-98, later re-used 12-24-08)
February 10: Cruel genetic mutant kids. "Hey, 'Two Eyes'! Ha, ha, ha, ha!" (szyszka) (later re-used 12-15-09)
February 19: "I see you're wearing that reversible suit, eh, Bob?"
February 21: Kissing Booth and Kissing-Up Booth.
February 24: Miss Manners' Attack Dog - "Good evening, Mr. Burglar! My name is Jowles! Would you care for a cocktail before I intimidate you with my aggressive behavior?" (also appeared 4-1-97 & 5-19-98) (Stanfill)
2-25: "I don't feel like I can get close to you anymore, Bob." (later re-used 9-19-09)
February 27: "People always accuse me of being to serious about work. What's up with that?" "What's that tattoo on your forehead?" "Company letterhead. Isn't it cool?" (Later re-used 12-13-08)
March 1: "Would you care to come up and see a few of my etch-a-sketchings?" (Later re-used 12-20-08)
March
2: Apples - "Happy anniversary, honey!" "Uh.. don't you think gettin' me a juicer is just a little on the passive-aggressive side?" (szyszka) (first appeared 12-17-98)
March 3: God to Jowles - "I proclaim you 'Man's Best Friend!' This entitles you to sleep in a box and eat meat by-products!" (Last appeared 4-22-87) (Stanfill)
March 8: "Your insurance didn't quite cover a compatible donor so we slapped in a pig heart we found in the cafeteria." (last appeared 11-13-99, later re-used 2-3-2010)
March 9: "I just discovered that women here make half as much as men. So, in a cost-cutting move, I'm firing all the men." (later re-used 9-15-09)
March 12: "What do you think of my cake? It's based on a novel by Stephen King!" (Stanfill) (also appeared 8-21-87, 12-8-98, 10-31-09)
March 17: The Quigmans visit Lyin' Country Safari. (A 3-timer...last time was 11-12-98) (Stanfill)
March 20: Francine's virtue is saved from a reckless advance with the deployment of her First-Date-Air-Bag. (last appeared 6-17-99)
March 23: Two flies - "Hey, Herbie ... I think I stepped in something." (szyszka) (last appeared 10-9-98)
March 24: "Yeah, Delores ... I got me one of those big, brawny boyfriends. It's so cute the way they come up to you and eat right out of your hand." (last appeared 11-11-98)
March 27: Francine picks another frog - "Your smiles break through the surface of my homicidal mania like daisies through cracks in the cement." (Later re-used 12-12-09)
March 29: "I don't think I can be a blue-collar dude with you guys anymore ... I'm starting to wear this outfit ironically." (Later re-used 3-15-08)
March 31: "My giant insect fetish aside, I think I made a big mistake marrying a louse like you." (Later re-used 10-13-08)

April 2: Failure, the new men's cologne that's devoid of pretense. (Later re-used 8-12-08)
April 4:
When Weathermen Kiss and Tell. (Last appeared 10-12-98) (Stanfill)
April 5: "Wow. I've been looking for a boyfriend like that for a long time... where'd you get him?" "I googled him." (Later re-used 1-13-09)
April 6: Jane Goodall in the wilds of Milwaukee. (Last appeared 5-14-98) (Stanfill)
April 8: "I don't care if you have taken a vow of silence ... I'm your mother. You could have CALLED!" (Last appeared 5-30-98) (Stanfill)
April 10: "I feel a lot more relaxed lately, Stu ... since i started wearing the Carefree Panty Liners.' (Later re-used 11-25-08)
April 11: "I used to be a fierce pirate, but swashbuckling doesn't pay like it used to, so now I'm a Nike swoosh-buckler!" (Later re-used 2-18-09)
April 14: Hungry for a traditional activity, Americans gather to observe the changing of the noseguard. (last appeared 11-25-99)
April 16: Midlife Crisis Barbie and Talking Old Guy G.I. Joe. (last appeared1-21-99)
April 17: Bill discovers that Johnson's Baby Shampoo does, in fact, cause tears. (later re-used 2-7-09)
April 20: A sign that carbophobia has spiraled out of control. (Later re-used 3-28-08)
April 21: The numbers racket comes to Sesame Street. "Hey, Big Bird, you interested in a whole integer?" (last appeared6-29-87) (Stanfill)
April 24: Sherlock Holmes: Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat. "I say, Holmes ... what do you propose to call this canal between the victim's ear and esophagus?" "Alimentary, my dear Watson." (
last appeared 7-10-99)
(Stanfill)
April 26: "Oh, that's Morty ... We caught him cheatin' on the scores, so we blackballed him." (Later re-used 6-17-08)
April 27: Lion - "Well, well ... aren't you hoity-toity, Lou! Got your own personal tamer." (last appeared 12-9-99)
April 28: "I wanted to attend the codependency workshop but i couldn't find anyone to go with me." (Parkin) (
last appeared 5-3-99)
April 30: "You gotta pull back on the senseless playground bullying, Joe. It's starting to feel like another Vietnam." (later re-used 10-9-09)

May 1: Beefy man w/sign - Please help. Health club membership about to expire. (last appeared 12-3-99)
May 3: "One of my biggest regrets is getting this stupid roaming plan." (Palmer) (later re-used 1-16-09)
May 4: When Weathermen Kiss and Tell. (first appearance 12-28-87, used again 10-12-98)
May 5: A Visit with Charles Manson - "Hey, guard! check it out, man. I got Web Site of the Week again!" (last appeared 9-28-98)
May 6: "I know there's lots of dry, brown grass, tumbleweeds and scrub oak around here, but I can assure you ... unless someone tosses a lit cigarette from a car window, you're perfectly safe." (later re-used 1-26-09)
May
10: "I've liberated you from your former dictator, I've shown you how to be independent ..." "... And now you're backing out?" "I like to call it 'transferring sovereignty.'" (Later re-used 9-27-08)
May
13: "That's our proudest mutation yet ... a buffalo chicken. We breed 'em for Pizza Hut." (Later re-used 3-25-08)
May 14: Lounge Lizards - "That, my friend, is one fine piece of tail." (
last appeared 6-6-2000)
May 15: "So, remember, fashion freaks, animal prints are OUT this year, and solids are in, in, in!" (Szyszka) (Last appeared 11-25-98)
May 18: Sign- "Nudist Colony. Caution: Currently undergoing reconstructive enhancement. Bare with us." (later re-used 11-11-09)
May 19: "There's a case where the end justifies the jeans." (Later re-used 11-14-08)
May 20:
Lost and found -"Hey, Frank! Did anyone turn in this guy's youth?" (last appeared 1-22-99)
May 21: Big, tough Pikachu -"You wanna take my kids outta your pocket?" (Szyszka) (Last appeared 12-10-99, later re-used 12-3-09)
May 20: Lost and found -"Hey, Frank! Did anyone turn in this guy's youth?" (
last appeared 1-22-99)
May 25: Sock at dating service - "I need to find my match." (Later re-used 1-8-09)
May 27: Bob mistakenly stumbled across the fountain of Truth, which proclaims: "Not only are you getting old, but you're gettin' kinda chunky." (Szyszka) (Originally syndicated 1-13-99)
May 29: "Hey! Let go of me! I'm not a baby. I'm a midget sumo wrestler!" (2-3-09)
June 1:  "Nasty razor burn there, Bob..." (last appeared 7-31-99)
June 2 For the first time in years, Spock's Vulcan mindmeld was a severe disappointment. Bob: "I...like...pie." (last appeared 12-13-99)
June 3: Jerry exhibits the heartbreak of suburban sprawl. (Later re-used 10-20-08)
June 5: "I'm old enough to know I'm not old enough to know about a lot of things." (last appeared 12-27-99)
June 8: "The most unpleasant thing about being in the only student in this class is when I ask you to break into groups." (last appeared 11-22-99)
June 9: Bob is caught in the vicious loop of shampoo bottle directions: "lather, rinse, repeat." (Last appeared 12-7-99)
June 10: "I've completely lost my train of thought...Ms. Fingleman, could you please turn down the wattage on those boardroom eyes?" (Later re-used 1-21-09)
June 12: I see you've got freckles...I just have the one. (Szyszka) (
last appeared 11-16-2000, later re-used 3-14-09 and 1-14-2010)
June 14: When Yami the yoga instructor is threatened with violence in a bar, he counters with his ujjayi breath. (later re-used 5-29-08)
June15: Knife and Fork at the marriage counselor. "It seemed natural at first ... we were always being shoved together for dinner ..." (last appeared 11-11-99, later re-used 2-25-09)
June 16: "I really thought my charms would start to grow on you, Francine." " Me, too, Bob ... but hourly, scalding-hot showers seem to protect me." (Last appeared 10-7-99)
June 17: Hallucinator club - "I'd like to thank all the little people. And look! There they are! Get 'em off me! They're coming out of the wall! Aah! (appeared 5-14-87 and then two months later on 8-5-04. Later appeared10-26-09) (Stanfill)
June 19: Dog - "I guess you might say I specialize in lawn ornaments." (szyszka) (
last appeared 1-7-2000)
June 22: "You like sun-dried tomatoes, right? Well, dis is sun-dried chicken. Guaranteed four days in the sun, minimum. (Nino) (
last appeared 2-1-99)
June 23: Boy Scout Fish - "I've been rubbin' these sticks together for hours ... what am I doing wrong?" (
last appeared 3-2-93) (Stanfill)
June 26: "I met this nice girl named Angela and gave her my phone number, but she hasn't called me yet." "Give it a rest, Bob! That was in '93." (Parkin) (last appeared 8-16-99)
June 28: Dr. Phil! - "I'm your husband, Lucy. I just can't believe how much you choose to demonize me!" (Later re-used 12-8-08)
June 29: "Looks like a very strange case of Dutch Elm disease. I'm gonna prescribe ... pruning, I guess." (last appeared 11-17-99, later re-used 2-24-09)
July 2: Another senseless designer knock-off. (last appeared 10-14-99, later re-used 11-12-09)
July 3: "I realize we just met, but i think we should split up and, because this is California, I get half your drink." (later re-used 11-25-09)

July 5: "Your father had his hip replacement surgery today. Unfortunately it was replaced by a bowling ball." (later re-used 12-17-08)
July 6:
"Why, Francine ... you're trembling!" "It's because of you, bob ... I always get this rush of adrenaline when I'm about to dump a guy." (
last appeared 8-17-99)
July 7: Bad hints from Heloise - "Lady bugs really spice up a salad." (Little) (last appeared 8-11-99)

July 9: "I see your attempt at an Emeril recipe has faild ... but at least you've managed to 'kick it up.'" (
last appeared 2-15-08)
July 10: "Everyone has trouble guessing my age ... but i'll give you a hint ... I've had so much plastic surgery I'm no longer biodegradable." (last appeared 9-25-99)
Juny13: Bob is expelled from driving school. (Last appeared 8-9-99, later re-used 10-3-09)
July 14: Cobras - "Say it, don't spray it - ok, Phil? 'Cause now I'm blind." (
last appeared 6-2-2000)
July 17: Tired of paying too much for high-falootin' gourmet coffee? Then try Tasteless Choice! (Illegible) (
last appeared 5-13-99)
July 20: "Isn't he just darling? I found him while I was out antiquing!" (
last appeared 10-29-99)
July 21: "I hate to use the words 'you're fired' so just get up and move to the other side of the desk." (
last appeared 8-9-99, later re-used 1-2-2010)
July 22: "I have a hollow tree with an ocean view. Only drawback is the incessant, suffocating stench of cookie dough." (later re-used 2-19-09)
July 27: "You may not be the brightest bunny in the forest , Bob, but I love sitting out here with you, listening to the wind as it whistles through your ears." (last appeared 10-25-99)
July 28: Life with the overly jealous - "You're thinking about something else, aren't you? I can tell because your eyes are open!" (last appeared 10-21-99, later re-used 1-9-2010)
July 31: "Confrontational? What do you mean I'm confrontational? I oughta bust your face!" (last appeared 10-23-99, later re-used 11-24-09)
August 2: "What's the holdup on stem cell research? I advocate it and I'm a freakin' embryo!" (Later re-used 7-16-08)
August 4: "I know he seems pretty white bread ... but I hear he has a dark side."
August 5: Hallucinator club - "I'd like to thank all the little people. And look! There they are! Get 'em off me! They're coming out of the wall! Aah! (Originally appeared 5-14-87. Previously used June 17, 2004. That's right...just two months ago. Later appeared 10-26-09) (Stanfill)
August 7: "Wow! Look what the cat's in drag in!" (First used 5-14-87. Re-used 7-28-95 ,7-7-99. That's four times.) (Stanfill)
August 11: Sanitarium for the chronically ph-imbalanced - "It's highly unusual, doctor ... they all steadfastly refuse to switch shampoos." (later re-used 2-16-2010)
August 14: Giant fish - "Well, lucky, lucky you! I'm in a bitin' mood!" (later re-used 2-12-2010) (Szyszka)
August 18: "Klaus! Klaus! You gotta quit punchin' people when they order the big-eye Swiss!" (last appeared 10-13-99)
August 23: "I can't believe it. I buy her a drink and she doesn't even make out with me. Frickin' feminazi's." (Later re-used 8-2-08)
August 24: The Leeches at home. (later re-used 12-23-09) (szyszka)
August 26: "Obesity does not have to be a life sentence, Freida ... now if you're fat and you kill someone, that's a whole other thing." (later re-used 12-1-08)
September 1: "Say, that is one sweet lookin' toupee, Buddha. Makes you look three reincarnations younger!" (Later re-used 4-8-08)
September 3: Due to his sizable account, Mr. Feingold experiences the bank's latest customer service feature: "Love interest." (later re-used 12-29-09)
September 4: The Dog Whisperer - "If you could just shut it up long enough, I might be able to cure the stinking, wretched thing's brain." (later re-used 12-4-08)
September 6: "You know what, Susie? Everybody thinks they be pimp, but they just frontin'." (later re-used 7-17-08)
September 8: "What's not to get, people? My client's face is smashed flat because his wife slammed it in the door! Open-and-shut case!" (last appeared 11-6-99, later re-used 12-16-09)
September 9: Fish with worm on neck - "Dude! That scarf is off the hook!" (later re-used 11-27-08)
September 10: People who were NOT awarded Salesperson of the Month - "If this model is not to your liking ... there are other stores with better stuff." (last appeared 12-9-99, later reused 2-10-2010)
September 11: After his own attempted murder, Bob unwittingly spawns a wild new craze: Lapel-gliding. (last appeared 11-29-99)
September 13: The Hamsters at home: Y'know Wendell ... just once , I'd like to read the morning paper before you shred it with your incisors." (McKinley) (Later re-used 1-8-08)
September 14: "Why are you people bouncing my checks? I told you three months ago I wanted overdraft protection!" "I thought you said HOVERCRAFT Protection." (Later re-used 3-11-09)
September 15: Being self-employed begins to mess with Bob's head. (last appeared 8-26-99)
September16: (All-chicken courtroom) "Is it not true, Mr. Cluckston, that when the waiter heimliched you, you coughed up a chicken bone?" (Last appeared 11-26-98)
September 17: "You know, Rachel, I really want to rip that customer's head off." "You can't do that, Kristy ... we've got a health code." (Later re-used 1-6-09)
September 18: "So anyway, doc, I have abandonment issues. Doc? Doc? (last appeared 11-19-99)
September 21: Some of the romance of waterskiing drains away when Francine learns only the power of a tugboat will pull Bob. (Last appeared 9-27-99, later re-used 11-28-09)
September 22: While attempting to embrace life, Bob failed to notice its trick knee. (last appeared 12-30-99)
September 24: Bumper Sticker Theatre - "Eagles can soar ... but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (Later re-used 1-14-09)
September 25: Sled dog Stories - "There were were... on the home stretch of the Iditarod .. when Scruffy blew a head gasket! We spun out, hit the wall and burst into flames!" (Last appearance 7-28-99)(Stanfill)
September 28: Title "Dawn of Civilization". Image - Primitive man thinking "Pizza." (Stanfill)
September 29: "That's Bob Quigman, a distant relative of ours. And that's just where we like him." (also appeared 3-13-87, 10-18-99) (Stanfill)
October 2: Big Hair club for Women. "I'm not only a member, I'm a refuge for birds!" (last appeared 10-28-99, later re-used 1-16-2010)
October 4: Overly judgemental life coach - "You are a sissy man! You're the worst life player I've ever seen! I'm taking you out of the game!" (Later re-used 7-8-08)
October 6: Psychiatrist to cow - "Where does all this self-loathing come from, Elsie?" "I'm lactose-intolerant, Doc." (parkin) (last appeared 3-13-99)
October 8: Bum with sign - "I'm a Don't-Wannabe" (Later re-used 9-26-08)
October 9: Date with a movie critic - "Your visual texture is diverting, Bob, but your characterization is poorly drawn, your narrative content numbs the mind, and I feel two hours closer to death. Thumbs down! I enjoyed the food, however. (last appeared 1-14-99)
October 12: Bull at bar-b-q joint - "I'm really lonely, so give me a combo platter ... I'd like to see if I can assemble me a new friend." (later re-used 9-10-09)
October 13: "Personally, I enjoy sweating the small stuff." (later re-used 11-26-08)
October 18: "That Fenderman always takes it a step farther ... he thinks outside the building." (Later re-used 9-15-08)
October 19: "What is this, Al, another one of your lame, get-rich-quick schemes?" "Are you casting aspersions on my Pet Stick?" (Martin) (later re-used 11-30-09)

October 20: "Like I said: All displays of bodily piercings will results in school suspension." (last appeared 4-14-99, later re-used 1-11-2010) (Wolfe)
October 21: Non-Smokers Hotel on fire. - "Liars." (last appeared 1-2-99)
October 22: "Check it out ... they're grooming Johnson for V.P." (Later re-used 4-30-08)
October 23: "Guess you'll think twice before eatin' sunflower seeds again, eh, Bob?" (No physical record of first appearance, later re-used 1-15-2010)
October 26: Hurricane - "It never fails, Doc. Every time i make a huge splash on the Florida coast, they downgrade me to a tropical depression." (later re-used 9-16-08)
October 27: Aliens - "Okay, hold still, son ... You've got a satellite in your eye." (Szyszka) (
last appeared 10-6-2000)
October 28: Mermaid - "You're a great girl, Marcie ... I just feel like I can't breathe." (
last appeared 8-28-2000, later re-used 12-1-09)
November 2: No caption. Man swatting fly, is going to hit "Nuclear Missile" launch button. (Later re-used 12-18-08)
November 4: Bob had the wrong idea about strip malls. (Bob, in front of strip malls, stripping.) (later re-used 21-2-08)
November 6: "You kids don't appreciate the value of a dollar." "Yes, dad, but we're shamefully humbled by the presence of a twenty." (last appeared 4-19-99, later re-used 11-19-09)
November 8: Bulls - "I don't know, he's just been acting really agro lately." (later re-used 3-29-08)
Novermber 9: "Your parenting has inspired Zoid and I so much, we decided to get some babies, too. See? (last appeared 1-12-2000)
November 10: Bob's faith in the love of his Aunt Myrtle and Uncle Dan was shaken when they put him in the quicksand box. (last appeared 11-27-2000)
November 13: "Your wedding announcement's in the paper, Bob. But the bride's name has been withheld pending notification of next of kin." (last appeared 6-12-99)
November 17 (Big fat guy at cooking class) "Sorry I'm late ... I was up all night cramming." (last appeared 8-30-99)
November 20: Al's Bakery - "It's not as much fun as it looks here. The owner's a fascist: He has this whole cookie-cutter mentality." (Later re-used 10-17-08)
November 23: "Omigosh, Bob! I warned you and warned you about those 3D games!" (later re-used 12-17-09) (szyszka)
November 25: She: "Yuck! This isn't champagne! It tastes like apple juice mixed with Alka-Seltzer!" He: "Guilty! But don't I get points for servin' it from a nice bottle from the dumpster?" (Later re-used 1-24-09)
November 27: Porcupine to pine-cone: "Say, there! Love your perfume! Is that pine?" (Later re-used 2-11-09)
November 29: "I don't care what you say ... 'loser' isn't in my vocabulary... 'cause I'm illiterate." (Later re-used 1-28-09)
November 30: Mel's No-Pest Jumpsuit: a big summertime favorite. (Parkin) (last used 2-11-99, later appeared 9-30-09)
December 1: "Yeah, we decided to name our kids like the Indians did. Y'know, after the first thing they saw? So over there, that's Sizable Hospital Bill, and there's Nurse With Startled Expression, and over there's our youngest... Hypothermic Sphygmomanometer!" (Stanfill)
December 3: "Hey mom and dad ... I'm lookin' for investors for my one-man show: 'Avoiding Gainful Employment.'" (later re-used 1-30-09)
December 4: Bum with sign - "I'm a middleman who was skipped." (
last appeared 4-6-99, later re-used 1-5-2010)
December 6: Corporate Hippie - "I know you think I've sold out, Moon Flower, but check it out: This entire office is made of hemp." (Later re-used 2-13-09)
December 7: The tolerance of a Starbucks barista is severely tested. - "I'd like a decaffacinno frappa chappa dappa dingo ice blended last of the moccahicans vanilla ice ice better latte than never smoothie with a shot of self-espresso." (later re-used 11-28-08)
December 9: "Excuse me ... can I have the time, roughly?" "Sure! It's (physical violence ensues) 12:45!" (later re-used 12-31-09) (Nino)
December 10: "No,no ... you misunderstood me. I said the secret to life is to adapt, not adopt." (later re-used 2-21-09)
December 13: "You're right, doc. It's one of the worse cases of plaque I've ever seen." (
last appeared 11-24-98, later re-used 1-31-09) (Stanfill)
December 14: Culture Vulture - "So that's why King Lear is the most bitter , bleak, and pessimistic of all tragedies ... you'd look great with a side salad." (last re-used 1-22-09)
December 16: "I don't get it. We've been hiding the growth hormones in his brussels sprouts for months and he hasn't grown an inch." (
last appeared 2-5-99) (Stanfill)
December 18: "Let's face it, Doc ... nobody loves a horse named charlie." (
last appeared 1-16-99, later re-used 1-7-2010)
December 22: Ichabod Crane with pumpkin head - Girl: No, no ...I swear, it's not that. I just can't date a man named Ichabod." (szyszka) (later re-used 11-27-09)
December 23: "Watch out for Caruthers. You how some people blow off steam? She retains it." (later re-used 11-9-09)
December 24: Snowman, to woman - "It's because I have a small carrot, isn't it?" (last appeared 12-17-99)
December 25: Rudolph is arrested - Santa:"But officer! His nose is always that color!" Cop:"Yeah. Yeah. Tell it to the judge!" (szyszka) (first appeared 12-24-99, later re-used 12-29-08)
December 27: Alien girlfriend - "She seems nice, son, and we appreciate you bringing her home to meet us, but ... she ate the dog." (Later re-used 3-13-09)
December 28: "I've always seen you as a man who's going places, Stinson ... unfortunately, those places are out that window and to your death." (Later re-used 1-27-09)
December 29: Dermatologist - "You're obviously not taking my advice, because lookie what you have here --- a pimple! Ha, ha, ha, ha!" (later re-used 1-2-09)
December 30: "We don't take kindly to poachers 'round here, mister. We like OUR eggs in a nice omelet." (
last appeared 2-13-99)
December 31: "I love this bar, Eddie... everybody knows my name." "Your name is Jager." (Later re-used 2-12-09)


The Quigmans
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