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Each
gag listed below indicates a previously-used
Quigman's comic recycled by Buddy in 2004.
Yellow = joke originally written
by Mike Stanfill
Blue
= date of original use or re-use.
Red
= joke written by collaborator.
Totals
for 2004:
38 stolen/reused jokes, 37 jokes supplied by collaborators.
Nearly 1/4 of all Quigman gags this year were not written by Buddy.
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| January
15: "Why, Miss Johnson! Without
your glasses ... you're beautiful! (This
gag of mine has been used at least three times, possibly
four, the last
being 2-25-98.) (Stanfill)
January 21: "Some
say I'm an overly protective mother, but I say hey! You can't
be
too careful. So I had Billy and the twins laminated."
(Previously used 2-26-98. Later re-used 7-18-07) (Stanfill)
January 27: Rupture, a game. (Last used 12-23-98)(Stanfill)
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February
3: Guilt Man - "Hold on there, Mr. Lowlife! Does your Mother
know you hold up grocery stores? And when was the last time you gave
to the United Way?"
February 19: "I see you're wearing that reversible suit, eh,
Bob?"
February 21: Kissing Booth and Kissing-Up Booth.
February 24: Miss Manners' Attack Dog - "Good
evening, Mr. Burglar! My name is Jowles! Would you care for a cocktail
before I intimidate you with my aggressive behavior?" (Last
regurgitated 4-1-97 & 5-19-98) (Stanfill) |
March
3: God to Jowles - "I proclaim you 'Man's
Best Friend!' This entitles you to sleep in a box and eat meat by-products!"
(Last used 4-22-87) (Stanfill)
March 12: "What do you think of my cake?
It's based on a novel by Stephen King!" (Stanfill)
March 17: The Quigmans visit Lyin' Country Safari. (A
3-timer...last time was 11-12-98) (Stanfill)
March 24: "Yeah, Delores ... I got me one
of those big, brawny boyfriends. It's so cute the way they come up
to you and eat right out of your hand."
March 29: "I don't think I can be a blue-collar dude with you
guys anymore ... I'm starting to wear this outfit ironically." (Later
re-used 3-15-08) |
March
6: Jane Goodall in the wilds of
Milwaukee. (Last used 5-14-98) (Stanfill)
March 20: A sign that carbophobia has
spiraled out of control. (Later re-used 3-28-08)
March 21: The
numbers racket comes to Sesame Street. "Hey, Big Bird, you interested
in a whole integer?"
(Previously used 6-29-87) (Stanfill)
March 24: Sherlock
Holmes: Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat. "I say, Holmes ... what do you propose to
call this canal between the victim's ear and esophagus?" "Alimentary,
my dear Watson." (Previously printed
7-10-99) (Stanfill) |
April 2:
Failure, the new men's cologne that's devoid of pretense. (Later
re-used 8-12-08)
April
4: When
Weathermen Kiss and Tell. (Last
used 10-12-98) (Stanfill)
April 8: "I
don't care if you have taken a vow of silence ... I'm your mother.
You could have CALLED!" (Last
coughed-up 5-30-98) (Stanfill)
April 20: Lost
and found -"Hey, Frank! Did anyone turn in this guy's youth?"
(Last used 1-22-99)
April 26: "Oh, that's Morty ... We caught him cheatin' on
the scores, so we blackballed him." (Later re-used 6-17-08) |
| May 13: "That's
our proudest mutation yet ... a buffalo chicken. We breed
'em for Pizza Hut." (Later re-used
3-25-08) |
June
1:
"Nasty razor burn there, Bob..."
June 14: When Yami the yoga instructor is threatened with violence
in a bar, he counters with his ujjayi breath. (re-used 5-29-08)
June 17:
Hallucinator club - "I'd like to thank all the little people.
And look! There they are! Get 'em off me! They're coming out of
the
wall! Aah!
(First used 5-14-87 and then two months
later on 8-5-04) (Stanfill)
June 23: Boy Scout
Fish - "I've been rubbin' these sticks together for hours ...
what am I doing wrong?" (Last
used 3-2-93) (Stanfill) |
July
7 : "Why, Francine ... you're
trembling!"
"It's because of you, bob ... I always get this rush of adrenaline
when I'm about to dump a guy." (Last
re-used 8-17-99)
July 9: "I see your attempt at an Emeril
recipe has faild ... but at least you've managed to 'kick it up.'" (Later
re-used 2-15-08)
July 20: "Isn't he just darling? I found
him while I was out antiquing!" (10-29-99)
July 21: "I hate to use the words 'you're fired' so just get
up and move to the other side of the desk." (Last
re-used 8-9-99) |
August 2: "What's
the holdup on stem cell research? I advocate it and I'm a freakin'
embryo!" (Later re-used 7-16-08)
August
4: "I know he seems pretty white bread
... but I hear he has a dark side."
August 5: Hallucinator club - "I'd like
to thank all the little people. And look! There they are! Get 'em
off me! They're coming out of the wall! Aah! (Previously
used June 17, 2004. That's right...just two months ago. Is this the
first sign of Wisenheimer Alzheimers?) (Stanfill)
August 7: "Wow! Look what the cat's in
drag in!" (First used 5-14-87. Re-used
7-28-95 ,7-7-99. That's four times.) (Stanfill)
August 23: "I
can't believe it. I buy her a drink and she doesn't even make out
with me. Frickin' feminazi's." (Later
re-used 8-2-08)
August 18: "Klaus! Klaus! You gotta quit
punchin' people when they order the big-eye Swiss!" |
September 1: "Say,
that is one sweet lookin' toupee, Budha. Makes you look three
reincarnations younger!" (Later re-used
4-8-08)
September 6: "You know what, Susie? Everybody thinks they
be pimp, but they just frontin'." (later re-used 7-17-08)
September
13: The Hamsters at home: Y'know Wendell ... just once , I'd like
to read the morning paper before you shred it with your incisors."
(McKinley) (Later
re-used 1-8-08)
September 15: Being self-employed begins to mess with Bob's head.
(Previously used 8-26-99)
September 25: Sled dog Stories - "There
were were... on the home stretch of the Iditarod .. when Scruffy
blew a head gasket! We spun out, hit the wall and burst into flames!"
(Stanfill)
September 28: Title "Dawn of Civilization".
Image - Primitive man thinking "Pizza." (Stanfill)
September 29: "That's
Bob Quigman, a distant relative of our. And that's just where we
like
him." (First used 3-13-87) (Stanfill) |
October 4:
Overly judgemental life coach - "You are a sissy man! You're
the worst life player I've ever seen! I'm taking you out of the
game!" (Later re-used 7-8-08)
October
6: Psychiatrist to cow - "Where does all this self-loathing come
from, Elsie?" "I'm lactose-intolerant, Doc." (parkin)
October 21: Non-Smokers Hotel on fire. - "Liars."
October 22: "Check it out ... they're grooming Johnson for V.P." (Later
re-used 4-30-08)
October 23: "Guess you'll think twice before eatin' sunflower
seeds again, eh, Bob?" |
November
6: "You kids don't appreciate the value of a dollar." "Yes,
dad, but we're shamefully humbled by the presence of a twenty."
November 8: Bulls - "I don't know, he's just been acting really
agro lately." (later re-used 3-29-08)
November 30: Mel's No-Pest Jumpsuit: a big summertime favorite. (Parkin) |
December
1: "Yeah, we decided to name our kids
like the Indians did. Y'know, after the first thing they saw?
So over there,
that's Sizable Hospital Bill, and there's Nurse With Startled Expression,
and over there's our youngest... Hypothermic Sphygmomanometer!" (Stanfill)
December 9: "Excuse me ... can I have the
time, roughly?" "Sure! It's (physical violence ensues) 12:45!"
(Nino)
December 13: "You're right, doc. It's
one of the worse cases of plaque I've ever seen." (Last
used 11-24-98) (Stanfill)
December 16: "I
don't get it. We've been hiding the growth hormones in his brussels
sprouts for months
and he hasn't grown an inch." (Last used
2-5-99) (Stanfill) |
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