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Each
gag listed below indicates a previously-used
Quigman's comic recycled by Buddy in 2005.
Captions in yellow
indicate joke originally written by Mike Stanfill
and re-used in violation of copyright.
Dates in blue indicate
original use of cartoon or date of re-use.
| Scoreboard
for 2005
|
| Old
Quigman comics re-used: 53
Quigman gags written (sometimes drawn) by collaborators: 55
Percentage of 2005 Quigmans re-used or
not wholly created by Buddy Hickerson: 38% |
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| January
4: "FOOD FIGHT!"
January 24: "We
call it out Rich People Sandwich. It's made entirely of upper crust."
(Last used 2-25-97)
January 27: Young chiropractors
at play - "Step on a crack and cause a permanent fracture between
the eight and ninth cervical discs of your mother."(Last
used 2-1-97)
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February
3: Man with "No Spine" sign
- Woman:"...and I want you to start dressing better and taking
me out more often and..."
February 11: Policeman - "Did you call for reinforcement, Johnson?"
"Yeah, Murdock ... I need you to tell me I'm pretty." (The
original version of this joke used soldiers, not policeman, and
was
used twice before on 6-14-1997 and 7-20-2000 and later on 1-17-06.
The policeman version was used yet again on 5-7-08)
February 17: Angels
sharing halos. God - "We're trying to save energy."
February19: "Then I thought, 'No man is
THAT quiet.' Thadegradet's when I realized I'd married a ceramic cat."
February 23: "I'm tellin' ya ... I'm through
with one-night stands ... I'm looking for someone I can use and degrade
for an extended period of time."
February 24: Cat - "If I may be allowed
to speak, gentlemen ... I feel it's high time for a dead-mouse-flavored
cat food!" (Last used 11-5-98) |
March 3: "Guess
what? You're my first surgery patient EVER! I'm so excited!" (Later
re-used 8-20-08)
March
28: Bob was his own boss and his own secretary, so naturally, he chased
himself around his own desk. (Last used 5-15-99) |
April
2: Grand Canyon alternatives.
April 14: Bob achieves a runners high. (Last
used 3-30-05)
April 18: Clown - "No, unfortunately, this is my real nose." (Later
re-used 5-5-08)
April 21: "Whadaya mean I do nothing? Why, today alone, I propped
up my feet, dodged responsibility, pushed my luck and sawed imaginary
logs!"
April 27: "The name is Bum. James Bum."
(last used 8-5-99) |
| May
4: Bob Quigman: Private Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat.
(last used 6-5-99) |
June
9: My dinner with Lassie. (Last
regurgitated 12-4-2000)
June 13: "Holy cow!
It's a bundt!" (Last used 1-1-99)
June 16: "So, what brings you kind
folks to Gentle, Whispering Pines Motel?" "Well, we couldn't
get any sleep at Drunken Screaming Relatives Motel." (Last
used 9-24-98)
June 17: Frank was stricken with apprehension
that the formal dinner guests would discover his head was a clip-on.
(Previously used 7-14-99)
June 28: Bob was even more annoyed at the Late Night Talk Show Wars
when the UN peacekeepers stepped in.
June 30: "I am a proud member of the Hair of the Month Club for
Men. But I, myself, have run out of space ... so my wife is weaving
a rug." |
July
1: Peterson was a cop who went strictly by the book. Unfortunately,
that book was "The Joy of Ballet". (Last
used 5-24-99)
July 7: Aliens - "Hey, Flerb! Did you see Zot's new palm pilot?
Interstellar internet access!" "Astounding! Hey, check out
Alyssa Milano!" (Szyszka)
July 16: "Art school taught me nothing. I owe everything to the
years I spent behind the camera at the DMV." (Last
used 8-4-01)
July 18: Dolphins - "Excuse me, it's driving us crazy ... what's
in this tuna?"
July 20: "Bob and I were happy for 26 years ... then we met."
July 21: Plastic Surgery Outlet - "Do you people do brain enhancements?"
(Parkin)
July 22: Dogs - "C'mon, Scruffy! You're all hopped up on Jerky
Treats! Gimme your collar! Friends don't let friends chase cars drunk."
July 25: The Boxer Rebellion - "Remember men, we're fightin'
for our Constitutional right to wear undergarments with that loose,
roomy feeling! Don't shoot until you see the whitie-tighties!"
(Szyszka)
July 28: "Now that we've been together a while, Maureen, I think
you should know ... I'm not really a famous hockey star. I'm a toothless
hick." (szyszka)
July 29: How you know when your surgeon is a
cannibal. "Scalpel ...sponge ...knife ...fork ...salt ...pepper."
(Last used 6-1-96)
July 30: Mole Talk - "I've always been
advised to have it removed, but I think it gives me character." |
August
2: Fe-fi-fo-fum Bakery - "I'll just have some coffee."
August 3: Pete regretted putting a quarter in the motel's Magic Finger
box. (Parkin) (Last used 8-10-200)
August 23: "I like what you've done with your hair." (Wig
on moosehead) (Last used 6-12-2000)
August 24: "Marcie, get that dog off the table! He's using the
wrong fork!" (Last used 4-1-2000)
August 31: "Let's see... impersonating a hipster, going too fast
on a first date, operating without a clue, failure to satisfy expectations,
sagging bumpers, and ... oh! Looks like your dreams have expired!" |
September
6: Sign- Soon to be built on this site: Unoccupied 30-story eyesore.
September 7: Rolling Stones 2005 World Tour. (Last
regurgitated 4-20-05)
September 14: Sheep - "Yep, not only do I come from a close-knit
family, but we're also pre-shrunk, drip-dry, colorfast and wrinkle-free."
(Last used 1-17-98)
September 16: Alternative wedding cakes.
September 20: "Thought you'd like it. It's
my new perfume. Made from 17 herbs and spices." (Last
used 10-11-99) |
October
1: "Son! Your mother and I have told you not to play in traffic!"
October 3: Psychiatrist - "Why do you have
this fear of intimacy?" Mantis - "'Cause after we mate,
she'll devour my head."
October 4: An evening
at the Therapy Cafe - "Our specials tonight are repressed duck,
filet of sole searching, and my favorite, shrimp basket case. For
dessert we have strawberry shortcoming s and banana split personality.
Start you off with a self-expresso?" (Last
used 3-3-01)
October 6: Horses - "I can't believe it,
Rupert. My wife is suing me for palomino." (Last
used 8-19-98) |
November
1: Jowles marches to the beat of a dead drummer. (Last
used 5-28-98, but the joke dates back to the mid-1980's. It's an old
but crummy.)
November 2: Sailor Jake was married to the Sea.
Sailor bob had tempestuous flirtations with a series of small stock
ponds. (Last used 10-4-01)
11-5: "I can understand the foot fetish,
Dan, but now you've paid the price ... athlete's face!" (Used
again on 10-3-06)
November 17: "Let's see... pushing
40 in a family zone... no marriage license... ignoring signs of aging...
I'm afraid I'll have to write you out a ticket to Cosmo." (Last
used 2-15-96, used again 10-31-07) |
December
8: Suture Self, Do-It-Yourself Surgery
December 14: "I used to be a model myself. I was the 'before'
guy."
December 24: "Thanks for the model kit,
Mom, but I wanted one of those insouciant Italian Vogue poses."
(last used 7-25-95)
December 27: Chicken ranch - "Oh, so I'm paranoid, eh? Let me
ask you this, Mr. Peace-of-Mind: Does the fact we're called BROILERS
alarm you at all?" (Last used 8-2-2000)
December 28: Arsonists on vacation - "See,
Bob. I told you I left the iron on. " "Oh, Francine, I'm
sorry I ever doubted you." |
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