6-2-07: Why did the singer have to be a snake? It's got arms, it's got a ball cap, its got binocular/stereoscopic vision. Couldn't this just as easily have been Clay Aiken, belting out a ballad to the belly full of stage-hand squizz he's been chugging all night?

6-26-07: I hate to admit this, but there was a time when I occasionally squeezed-off  a ripe, noxious round or two of such "list jokes" as this, but it was generally when I was too drunk or too bored or too whacked-out on Sugar Pops to create good material. It's nice to see the tradition continues.

My favorite movie on the list is #3, which was left incomplete. Which is just as well since that's about when most normal people would lose interest anyway. Old Hicky-pants could have fit the whole title there but he was obviously confused by the concept of using smaller letters.

Note: This is Quigman gag #2 by this Respess person, the first having to do with Pariz Hiltonz. I'm guessing his/her next joke may be even more daring, like something to do with the crazy clothes these kids wear today, or the difference between LA and New York.

6-27-07: What is it that bothers me about this cartoon? Is it the galfriend nonchalantly sucking on the spliff? Is the stray, feathery man-bits cascading downward from the main character's DMZ? Is it the idea that an onion's own juices would affect its olfactory glands? Is it the idea that an onion would even HAVE olfactory glands? Is it the fact that the characters actually had to be labeled as "onions" so that we'd recognize what they were meant to represent? Is it the dog, too tired to even care about such a lame set-up?

Nah. It's just that it's just dumb.

Note: This is only Szyska's sixth gag of 2007, way down from her twenty-nine contributions in 2006. I rejoice for more reasons than I care to enumerate.

6-28-08: Words...fail me. Almost.

It's like I opened my front door to find the Six Million Dollar Man standing there trying to sell me pet rocks, occasionally screaming "Dy-no-MITE!" as he adjusted the lapels of his dung-brown leisure suit.

This has all the aromatic hallmarks of a long-and-mercifully-forgotten Quigman joke from the 80s, but it's not in my immediate data base so Hicky-pants gets a statistical pass...for now.

All that aside, it's nice to see the doc is a specialist in this particular disease, even keeping a little model of Inky (or is it Blinky?) on the shelf just in case he needs a visual aid when diagnosing this hideous malady.

6-29-07: Speaking of hideous maladies, it's a good thing all post-menopausal women metamorphose into nightmarish, bug-eating, saucer-eyed monsters or else this joke could not even possibly have been funny.

On a different note, it makes you wonder what old Hick's mom looks like. Actually, let's not go there.

One more thing....Buddy Hickerson will 50 year in February of 2008. Make of that what you will.

Sloth Alert: This joke originally offended women everywhere on 2-15-02.

6-30-07: I am currently laughing in the same nervous way a person does when he has somehow survived a horrible traffic accident unscathed.

I mean, this joke is so ghastly in so many ways I don't even know where to begin. How far down in the bag of comic topics do you have to lunge before you dredge up something as jolly as anaphylactic shock? I thought perhaps old Hicky-pants was working through the Merck Manual alphabetically but that would means he deliberately slighted amoebic dysentery. But I've got my fingers crossed for leprosy or flesh-eating bacteria next.

More importantly, where does a gag this repulsive originate? Is this projection? Wish fulfillment? More of the Quigman's representative misogyny? Does Buddy have access to Dick Cheney's diary?

On a technical note, this is one of the first Quigmans I've seen that wasn't signed, which reminds me of the movies that are so bad the director took their names off the title cards. Even the guy who typed in the caption for the cartoon was rattled by this noxious jape, misspelling the word 'realized'.